He loves me, I guess
by S A F A R I G U R L
Summary: Matt is angsting in a park. Telling someone about your feelings helps, right?


It had always been that way. Mello ordered Matt around and Matt would do everything he was told, like a dog. During that time feelings had developed and now Matt was facing a problem. Telling Mello didn't seem like a good idea. On the other hand Matt couldn't be near his best friend with the choking emotion of love around him.

Sitting in a park and smoking like crazy Matt was pondering his situation. Watching little children play while their parents were watching and talking was actually calming him. One little boy was riding his bike without any help and was shouting at his mom to watch him. Laughter filled the air until one of the kids started to cry breaking the laughter.

In their shared apartment there was a worn leather couch. After using it for so long you could smell cigarette smoke on it. Matt liked lying on the couch because the scent reminded him of Mello and the smell of smokes made it seem like they scents were put together.

Matt had been staying at the park for three hours. Mello wouldn't care so it didn't matter. It might start raining soon, but Matt wanted to wallow in self pity right now. Unrequited feelings had that kind of effect on anyone. If the feeling was directed to your best friend it was even worse. Living with the object of your fantasies had caused Matt many problems already and he just needed to get out.

When the rain finally came, it soaked Matt to the bone. His tears started to fall slowly. The coldness of the air around him joined with his tears making him shiver. The rain kept falling down. Everything turned grey and dull. His tears just kept on falling. Why couldn't his life be easier? He could never be happy.

Suddenly there was someone patting his head. "Excuse me, sir. Why are you crying? Did you hurt yourself?" Little girl, about five or six years old, was standing before him with her friends. Matt dried his tears and smiled. "No, I'm not hurt, dear. I'm just crying because there is someone I love and they don't know how I feel." Matt was a surprised that he had told her what was troubling him.

The girl smiled. "Do you want to tell us about your special person?" Matt looked confused, but decided to tell the kids. It might even help a little. The children sat on the ground and stared expectantly at Matt. They knew a good story when they saw one.

"Well, I have known h…them since I was just about your age. We were always together. Best friends, you know. When one of us got into trouble, the other wanted to be punished, too." Matt was quiet for some time. Remembering the days of his childhood brought back many good memories. "We used to torment everyone. Some adults in the orphanage didn't like our escapades too much." The kids listened to his every word. Matt had always been good at charming his audience.

"I knew I loved him after he started to live with me. He could just walk in the room or sit on the couch and I found myself staring at him." Matt had yet to notice that he had started to say 'he' instead of 'them'. Only some of the children listening had realized the difference. "He has a chocolate addiction and even if I comment about that I wouldn't want him any other way. The way his hair shines in just the right light or the way he moves with his leather clothes makes me love him more every day."

After sitting there for an hour listening intently to Matt's story the kids left. Matt felt better now having cleared his mind. Maybe it wasn't so bad being in love with Mello after all. They had been friends for so long that it would only shatter their hard work if he came clear now. Matt decided to sit there for a few minutes longer when the little girl from before returned. "You should tell him about your feelings."

Matt was taken aback. Such a little girl was giving him advice on such an important matter. "Why do you think I should do it?" Matt tried to sound nonchalant, but was really nervous all the same. It was kind of uncomfortable being told what to do by a girl who had barely started school. "Because he is standing right behind you."

Turning slowly around, Matt's eyes landed on Mello's leather clad form. Blonde hair was drooping on his eyes after the rain and he looked like he was freezing. Lips with blue tint were slightly parted with shallow breathing. Matt ran to his friend wrapping his arms around Mello trying to warm him. Mello just looked at him.

"Was that true?" Matt was a little confused. "Was what true?"

"What the girl said. About your feelings." Mello looked somewhat sad and disbelieving. His lips had gotten their color back and the shivering had stopped. Matt had yet to let go of him. Mello's arms had wounded around Matt's torso. They looked like two lovers caught in an embrace during their secret meeting. Of course, they didn't realize that themselves.

Matt knew that he should say something. But what if Mello got mad and didn't want to see Matt anymore? Oh, what the hell. Here goes nothing. "Yes, Mello. She was speaking the truth. I have had feelings for you since we started to share the flat. Actually, I think I love you, Mello. I always have." During his little speech Matt had closed his eyes. Now he was too scared to open them.

Mello lowered his head so that he was able to whisper into Matt's ear. "I don't love you." Matt felt the tears forming behind his closed eyes. "However, I am _in love _with you." Now Mello moved his head so that his lips barely touched Matt's. Matt opened his eyes just to let them flutter closed again. The kiss got stronger and was now filled with emotion.

When they finally broke the kiss to breathe they blushed upon realizing that the little girl was still staring at them. She was happily grinning and seemed to enjoy their embarrassment. Matt coughed nervously and Mello just stared at her menacingly. Suddenly, she just hopped away to her big sister and whispered something to her. They both giggled and left the park.

Mello turned to Matt grinning evilly. "What do you say if we go home? There are some things I'd like to discuss with you. " Matt just smiled and placed a kiss on Mello's cheek. "Let's go home. We have year's worth of emotions to catch up." Matt knew that tonight he would finally get what he has been dreaming of.


End file.
